a mystery of joy

This is a bachelors button plant. Centaura montana native to europe. This evergreen plant should maintain its leaves even in winter. It grows well in acid or alkaline soils, light sand to clay-like soil & is drought resistant. The only downside is that it doesn't grow in water logged areas. Thanks wikipedia for the info! We all feel smarter now.

This plant brought me joy this summer. Not because I knew about this plant, but because I didn't. In early May I went to my favorite lil' plant shop. I bought a plant that had leaf structure like echinacea, but a bit different. There were no flowers & no tag to identify this plant.

I bought it, planted it, watered it & waited with one purpose: to find joy in discovering what it is. Kinda like a Christmas present.

Joy for me is not in my nature. I struggle. I have to intentionally pull stunts like this so I can stretch my underdeveloped joy muscles. Otherwise I live in the space where I twist happy things into sad & words of encouragement into condemnation. Depression has often been at war deep within me. It is right now.
  
But I can find joy that I have a Centaura Montana growing in my front yard. That means something to me.

I ruined it for you though. You got the facts & picture but not the joy. Sorry about that.

This morning I discovered something about joy while in a depressive sob fest state & psychotically googling for answers. First I googled 'how to find joy' & received several page options with 3-40 steps plans for attaining joy. No joy there.

My next google endeavor were the words joy + bible verse + comfort. Here is where I found my discovery.  The Old Testament uses the word joy more than the New Testament. Yes, the Old Testament is size-y-er by general word count. But still, shouldn't the New Testament have more 'joy' in it?  Isn't that where the mystery in Christ is revealed?

God thinks differently.  He put each joy where it goes.

Why more joy in the old then the new? Not a clue. I have ideas, but really... no clue. It's a mystery.

I've learned something about the power of mystery. There is joy in not having to figure out everything right now.  There is joy in not putting everything on social media & saving it just for the most important people in my life. There is joy in waiting to share big news face to face. Do I readily purge every insight I've gained on others in a 3 or 40 step plan of facts and pictures. Or do I encourage them in their joy filled journey of discovery? Yes, I realize the irony in blogging this.

I also learned how backwards Joy is. Happy are those who mourn & are poor in spirit (Matt 5:3&4). Consider it pure joy when you face trials (James 1:2). More joy in the Old Testament than the New. Joy is living through a battle & waiting until the scars radiate beauty. Joy is not avoiding the battle.

So... I still feel joyless much of the time. But I'm working on living in mystery more often. I'm working on sharing life in ways that don't cheapen what is most important. It can be as simple as planting or creating something new just to see what pops up - letting joy happen in the surprise of what the day or moment might hold.

Joy: stopping the google search engine or what I think I know & waiting for God to show me the legit picture in His time.

 but just as it is written,
“Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard,
And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him.”
   

1 Cor 2:9

***a special shout out to my proofers Tracy & Mandy. They allow you to understand the very messy thing that is my brain. They also let me keep the word size-y-er.   If you ever notice a mistake it's cause I changed it after they corrected it.  Thanks guys!