don't judge my corn

Don't judge my corn.  It isn't exactly picture perfect.  It's definitely not the husked ear of corn you'd hope to unwrap from the market.  It's got obvious gaps.

But don't judge my corn.

You might extend grace if you knew the story.  It was a lone corn stalk growing alone without others to help pollinate it into fullness: READ.  Oh, bless it's heart.  It really tried to be complete, poor thing.  (I'm absurdly attached to this corn plant).

We all have gaps: daddy issues, anger issues, little man syndrom, mama's boy, EGR(extra grace required), clingy, needy, drama queen, busy body, attention whore.  Oh, the list can go on & on & it doesn't get any cleaner as I go.

Yeah, bless their heart!  They need grace.

Every now & then circumstances meet in a perfect storm.  People can get husked - all their inside gaps show.  This happened to Peter.  Peter, little man syndrome, know it all, over zealous & reeking of attention whore, his gaps are well documented in the gospels.

He tried to walk over to Jesus, via water.  He missed his destination.  He sank.  All doubt is now removed, Peter's got issues.   He, afterall, couldn't keep his eyes on Jesus.  Maybe he was lacking in faith, maybe he wasn't 'living free'.

Bless his heart, I bet he looked all foolish as he started sinking in terror.   I wonder what those unhusked disciples in the boat thought.  As painful as it is to feel judged, I don't know that I would rise above pitying Peter gaps.

Many of us may live tension with faith.  We want to step out in faith, but fear letting our gaps show.   We feel the pressure to perform, keep it together.  We take misplaced responsibility of making faith look easy & then await affirmation from others who are conviced we are leaning on grace.   There is calm, but no peace.

However, the very act of stepping off the boat admits self defeat.
Stepping out in faith isn't pretty.
Leaning on grace is messy buisness.
There is no calm.

But there is peace.

Yes, stepping off the boats admints self defeat.  Therein is the freedom.  We must own our deficits boldly & reflect brighter His grace.

Paul is another one with gaps.  He talks about them in 2 Cor 12.   Interesting thing here:  In verse 9 my bible has some red letters - meaning these are direct words from God.

 My grace is sufficent for you, My power is perfected in your weakness   

2 Cor 12:9a.

 Perhaps this fundamental truth is so far above human comprehension that God had to speak it directly to Paul.  I lean on this verse for comfort in hard times, but a rarely let this truth penetrate my everyday life.

I want 'extra grace required' people evoke spiritual jealousy instead of spiritual pity/judgement.  How did requiring more grace get twisted into a bad thing?  (Luke 7:36-50)

I also wish to be & be around husked, bare people even when the world condemns or pitys the weakness.

Peter, afterall, walked on water.

But greater than that, he knew how badly he needed Jesus.  The good looking fools in the boat forfeited this experience.

Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.   

2 Cor 12:9b