off season

I'm not on a roller derby team.

I'm not a 120 lb fitness buff.

My house is not clean.

Several house projects are STILL unfinished.

I did not attain all of my gardening goals.

2015 closed & about all I can say for myself is that I graduated from 1 lb to 2 lbs in rehab after shoulder surgery. I've over used it with gardening & house projects. Torn labrum - it's a 'younger persons' injury & typically done with overhead sports, which I do not play. I do think my methods of gardening now qualify as a sport. Right? 

With the frozen January earth dirt, this gardening sport of mine is in it's off season. Regardless, I'm not medically cleared to lift a shovel. I am off season. Off season means no derby for me for a few more months & no labor intensive house projects. That lofty weigh-loss goal? Yea right. Instead I've been struggling to reach overhead & pass shoulder movement 101. Goal setting can be disappointing business. 

A wise friend of mine was recently talking about goals & said "I just want to run a better race." She is not a track star. Perhaps she has come to grips with the fact that checking off our to-do lists & feeling accomplished are always going to elude us.  She was referring to this:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Heb 12:1-3

I've lied to myself. There is no off season. There is always the race. It matters not how incapacitated I am. So now it is 2016, & after dwelling on this passage I'm changing the ways I make goals for 2016.

#1 Pitch my way.
So far being on a roller derby team still makes my goal list for 2016. So does gardening that brings in income for community impact/charity. I may be wrong about these goals. I was wrong about a lot last year. I don't get to rejoice for being drafted on a roller derby team. I'm rejoicing in 2lb size achievements as my rehab progresses. I'm not going to lie, 2 lbs actually is pretty hard for me right now. The bigger issue is how am I running the race HE marked out for me.

#2 Pitch the sin.
Sometimes it is, in fact, OK to be 'too hard' on myself in matters of sin - so long as I tune into the redemptive grace of God beckoning me to a better way. How am I to understand the enormity of God's grace if I am forever shrinking my vast sin into bite sized proportions.  In matters of gluttony, pride, jealousy, fear (I could keep going) resting on His grace does not mean resting in my sin. 

#3 Pitch being realistic.
I'm going to set goals higher than anything I could possibly accomplish without Christ. How else am I to keep my eyes fixed on Him? I've settled year after year for mediocre goals & ended up living out a mediocre faith. By end of year I would like to reflect on one thing. Not failure, nor success, but what did God do?

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, 

as working for the Lord, not for human masters. 

Col 3:23