strawberries, you're doing it wrong!!

One of my June-bearing* strawberry plant didn't get the memo. It's blooming now. Late SUMMER!!

Strawberry plant, you're doing it wrong!

SEE. LOOK!  I have now fully documented on media the shame of this rogue plant. If they spend their effort putting forth a harvest now, then they might not produce as well come next June. WRONG!

Little strawberry plant shouldn't feel so bad. Apparently there are a lot of things I do WRONG. The inter webs tell me I've been cutting watermelon WRONG, I've been addressing my emails WRONG, I've been wrapping my duvet WRONG (not that I have one), apparently I've even been eating tic-tac's WRONG for years.

I shouldn't feel so bad. Apparently there are a lot of things the world does WRONG. Moms & dads are doing it WRONG. Democrats, Republicans, Yoga pant wearers all are WRONG WRONG WRONG! Full documentation on social media shows the shame.

Our world sayith let all eyes be on the shamed & never the mocker, the scoffer, the critic.

In truth, a critical attitude says very little about the state of the world around me, but instead says volumes about my ultimate trust in HIM - the Faithful One. If the character of my heart knew Him better as the Great I AM, I wouldn't need to iron my undergarments from their giant twists.

Strawberries, I let you bloom. Though you didn't adhere to my plan.

Yes, there is still wrong in this world. Yes, in a loving relationship we can encourage people to turn towards God. But first check out the plank that may be in your eye (Matt 5:7). & if it is a stone you seek to throw just put it down, even if your right (John 8:1-9). 

Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”  

John 8:10 & 11

*June-bearing strawberries have one big harvest per year. Harvest can start as early as March thru June. In contrast Everbearing strawberries produce a steady harvest throughout the growing season.

adventures in huckelberry

the first rule of huckleberry picking in Idaho is don't talk about huckleberry picking.


So, this summer I've been a bit fanatical about fruit. I've had friends give me lbs of their apples, blackberries, tomatoes etc. I've been turning them into canned goods to sell so I can raise money for a missions trip 2016. So when we were on holiday in the mountains of Idaho this summer I was thrilled to find out the huckleberrys were ripe. All I need to do was find some & jam them.

Idaho, um beautiful!, has several small communities throughout it's mountains. The particular one we visited has friendly faces, hardworking hands & weathered wisdom.  I've been able to spend a bit of my time in this same community from the time I was little. But being at a community & being in a community... they are two different things.

'so where do you find these huckleberries?'  Seems like an acceptable question. But in truth I was asking a question that challenged decades of family secrecy. Most people knew where to find them - as their freezers were full of frozen huckleberries from last years pickings. But getting someone to share this information was quite another affair. Others may have been deterred, but I was determined.

So where do you find huckleberries?
To the honest, this question met silent smiles.
The tactful answered 'oh I don't know, but I know where you can find a great huckleberry shake or pie'
The semi helpful informed me that they were somewhere within the 40 acre circumference - of rugged mountain brush.

My favorite was the helpful smile with detailed instructions to where to find this treasure. 'It's our family secret' she said. She explained that her family wasn't coming up to pick this year, so she might as well share. 'do you have a bucket? because there are piles of them'. Two locations she gave me. I went to the airfield first. After 1 1/2 hours I thought perhaps I missed them. The next set of instructions led me straight to the town dump. 'piles of them' echoed in my ears.

Yes, being at a community is a lot different than being in a community. we all have our valued commodities that we are deeply petrified to share - friendship, identity, attention, leadership, wisdom, the top seat at the table. Almost every community can find itself being stingy in one regard or another. How are you with your commodities? are you afraid they will run out? do you share or do you fear? See, someone always knows when they are not truly let in. No amount of polite tact can make up for that.  It's time to forsake the misplaced value & return it to the stranger & the outsider.

So how did my huckleberry journey end? I couldn't really say. But I do have 2 jars of homemade huckleberry jam that I am selling to fund a missions trip in 2016. Interested?

up a birdseed view

I like birds. They don't really care for me. For a time, they liked my bird feeder that I got for Mother's Day last year. It brought such joy as different birds paid my feed a visit. Success! I'm helping the birdies! Maybe they like me. 

They stopped frequenting late last summer when the bird feeder was neglected. I can't really blame them, I broke trust. I delivered & then I didn't. The well ran dry & they moved on. Logically makes sense. But really, is there anything more sad then an empty bird feeder?


I say yes. A full, abandoned one. Late in the season I was ready to shape up & show up. I filled the feeder, I wasn't going to let them down again. But the birds had none of it. They didn't come back.

A few weeks ago - Now spring I was eager to try again. New bird seed, new year, new start. We get new beginnings right? Especially in real relationships & not just birdseed related ones of my dramatic back yard. (my mind channel flips to a reality TV preview on desperate lil' birds of helen's yard)

The stink of the human condition. Some relationships, it doesn't matter how you try, will they ever be the same again? The birds still did not come back. 

3-4 weeks after 2015 feeder went up, I watched the untouched $40 piece of food filled plastic sway in the wind. I let this sad message of broken trust sink in. Humans! Who needs them? Humans! Why do I have to be such a human too! Silence. Sigh. Silence.

"I Am always faithful" - He broke the silence.

"yes Lord, You Are."  Here I was feeling pitiful because I've been 'consistent' & haven't built back a bird's trust.  God knows what that is like & His consistent faithfulness supersedes mine beyond all comparison. I'm a lot closer in comparison to an un-trusting bird.

How seldom I dwell on His faithfulness. I throw my head in the air & whine instead of opening my eyes to see God providing the manna.
God does not have a faithfulness problem, I have a gratitude problem.
It is the practice of gratitude that opens our eyes to see His faithfulness.

Gratitude is not the act of spraying perfume on manure & fooling ourselves into being happy with it. Gratitude is simply seeking & recognizing the flower that grows out of the fertilizer. & my friend, if there is simply no flower or fruit, it is time to stop looking at the pooh.

The stink of the human condition ought never outweigh the faithfulness of God in our thoughts.

No birds. Oh well.

He Is FAITHFUL.

God is not human, that He should lie, 

not a human being, that He should change His mind. 

Does He speak and then not act? 

Does He promise and not fulfill? 

Numbers 23:19

a Hand in the wild

Tulips are my first memory of experiencing what can grow. I remember the bright red line of happy dancing blooms. I would pretend they were more fragrant than they were. They brought joy. My family grew lots of other things, but I never really thought much of it all, honestly, until I wanted it for myself.

At age 21, married, we landed in a home where I could hear a rooster crowing. This was MY TIME to garden - even if I didn't have a clue what I was doing. My husband & I lived on a small plot next to farmland. The sod was freshly laid atop a field that had grow weeds for years.

I ripped up some sod & planted a few rows of corn. All I got was weeds, tall weeds. Failure. Tall embarrassing failure. And, this being our first yard, we were also failures at lawn care. Our neighbor reported us to the authorities for having noxious weeds. We have litigious documentation of our failure.

5 years, a new home & 2 kids later... Still no garden success. I had a few raspberry canes & a rose bush that never bloomed. Pregnant with my 3rd, I put all my hope into raspberries. Their care matched the energy I didnt have left. Unfortunatly a broad leave killer got too close. Bye bye raspberries. Hello my friend failure.

That same year was a total fail in the yard world as well. We began referring to our yard as a jungle because it literally was. The fence was covered in vine, several trees & bushes volunteered from the ground & were left unchecked. The surface area where actual grass was growing became smaller & smaller. We lived in jungle wild.

I was delusional thinking I could ever possibly garden. I couldn't even keep grass alive. & everything that was living was crowding out my sense of sanity! Being preggers & perhaps a tad hormonal, these circumstances were met with a perhaps less rational & more emotional mind.

That was a week before I was admitted to the hospital. My growing baby was 21 weeks along. Fortunately babe #3 was fine. I, however, had a kidney stone that was not curable while pregnant. After an uncomfortable device was surgically implanted inside my 'tummy area' I was discharged from the hospital. I still remember the relentless pain & helpless feeling. I could now do nothing.

The day I came home my sweet husband, feeling a bit helpless as well, decided he was going to wage war on the jungle wild. While laying on the couch I saw clompers, a chain saw, gloves, duct tape & several implements of destruction heading out the back door.

After a while, he came back in.

He was carrying a watermelon.

I was confused. Did he steal it? Did he leave me here with Babe #1 & #2 to run off to the store while I was on bed rest? Was this a joke? Did a neighbor give it to him? Funny... We don't have any neighbors growing anything that I'm aware of.

"It was growing in the middle of our yard. There is another one just like it still there." , he said. 

I was still confused. "that was jungle out there! How did a watermelon plant... Oh I remember when we were eating watermelon & spitting the seeds off the back porch. That was like 3 months ago!"

This hidden watermelon treasure in the midst of my helplessness & failure spoke volumes to me:

    true value vs perception

    relentless nature of life - seeds WANT growth

    we sow seeds, but the LORD brings harvest.

    fruit is undeniable & unmistakable

    patience thru failure

    forfeiting gratitude in failure to see good

    God does not abide inside my limited view

Today I'm reminded that it all comes back around to SPACE. If two watermelons could grow neglected among the weeks, then perhaps conditions are favorable in that spot. The next year I experience the first successful garden...in the middle of my yard...in that spot. Not exactly the space I would have chosen.

Babylon was the perfect lush place to create a garden & build up to the heavens (Gen 11). Yet it is in the wilderness, in that space, where God told his people to build a tabernacle - the place where God dwells. It is in the wilderness where the Glory of the Lord appeared (Ex 40:24-35).

My space doesn't need to build anything. My space; my heart, mind, soul & body, just needs to be a place where God can dwell - Emmanuel.

Now, I have tulips & more thriving. Also that rose bush finally bloomed. My garden failures, although still numerous, do not draw police attention to my house. (We can now thank our barking beagle for that.) I find serenity digging in earth dirt, regardless my seeming inability to make success - knowing instead the joy that God meets me there & speaks to me through His success. 

But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys.

I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched grown into springs.

I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.

I will set junipers in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together,

so that people may see and know, may consider and understand,

that the hand of the LORD has done this,

that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Isaiah 41:17-20

for starters

A new season is starting. The ground is thawing. Gardeners are starting their seeds indoors, local nurseries are opening their doors with bright flowers. It can be easy, especially for newbies in the garden world, to get lost in the splash of color. So where to begin?

For starters, you need to set aside the SPACE
Space - the yielded surrendered kind - must precede all, even the seed.

I've heard it said that the journey is always more important than the destination; the correct process valued above the final achievement. In growth; the land wins over the harvest. Yes, it is also important in preparation for a garden to clear the debris, rocks & nutrient sapping weeds. The selected spot must have adequate water drainage, good soil, sunlight etc. But let me lay aside this myth... even if everything isn't in perfect condition...I've seen plants grow, even fruit.

How?
Because it has surrendered SPACE, even if it is just a little.

I have seen fruit grow in weeds - watermelon (great story). I currently have a discarded raspberry bush that found survival on a rocky path.  No, not ideal, but it has happened. See, the biggest messes can become purposeful simply by setting aside, or find space for a higher purpose.

Conversely, unsurrendered good soil turns wasteland. It doesn't take long for opportunistic seedlings to drift via wind & take hold of the soil. Or good land that has been worked without rest turns desolate. I'm reminded of the tower of Babel (Gen 11:4). They had space, man power, an effective idea, team work, tools, but the result was fallow land, scattered & confused people simply because they didn't set it all aside for a higher purpose.

I compare a garden to my heart. Many are the plans & figurative weeds/rocks inside. Unless I continually start each day, each endeavour, each thought & each next step with the yielding of the space, I will toil to built my tall towers of purpose in vain.

Surrender EACH step, not just the first.

The good news is that God transforms yielded spaces, however rocky, into good soil.

In fact He is the only one who can.

We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer.

People may be pure in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their motives.

Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed.

The LORD has made everything for his own purposes.

even the wicked for a day of disaster.

The LORD detests the proud; they will surely be punished.

Unfailing love and faithfulness make atonement for sin.

By fearing the LORD, people avoid evil.

When people's lives please the LORD, even their enemies are at peace with them.

Better to have little, with godliness, that to be rich and dishonest.

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.

Proverbs 16: 1-9